BAVR Eats the Books

Every book is a meal. Every review is dessert.

All About BAVR

Rachel

 

I live in the wilds of Pennsylvania with my car magazine reading husband, 3 of the worst-behaved cats on this planet, and my baby son. At present, I work in sales, but this is only because I haven't figured out a way to write from home and get paid for it yet. If you know how to make my slacker dreams come true ...

 

 

My favorite literary heroine growing up was Anne Shirley of Anne of Green Gables. This explains why I'm both sickeningly enthusiastic over stupid things and also creepy. Admit it. Anne Shirley is a total creep with her kindred spirits and getting Diana trashed that one time. Gilbert Blythe is the reason I love beta heroes.

 

I learned that *SPOILER ALERT* Santa doesn't exist by reading about it in a Baby-Sitter's Club book. Thank you, Jessi and your Kwanzaa story, for ruining my childhood. My brother tells me that I read another BSC book, Boy-Crazy Stacey, so often that the cover fell off. He never understood its brilliance.

 

A couple months ago, my parents had a moving sale. I was looking through some of my old books that my mom had put up for sale and discovered a fascinating pattern. "Mom," I said, "even when I was young, I read a lot of trash."

 

And she just rolled her eyes and replied, "Yeah, I noticed."

 

So, that was the day I realized that my mom thinks I have trashy taste. I'm glad I don't have to hide it any longer. >:D

 

BAVR = Bad-Ass VelociRaptor

 

Bruce Wayne has Batman, Clark Kent has Superman, and I have BAVR, my reviewing alter-ego. She feasts on Avon historical romances for sustenance and will attempt to read just about anything. She was born 73 million years ago during the Cretaceous Period and is rumored to be part wizard, which would explain her long life-span. 

 

History portrays BAVR as a "noble predator" with "a particular kind of charm" and "sweet claws." Martha Washington once called BAVR a bitch in front of Abigail Adams after discovering a shredded set of curtains in her sitting room. Cleopatra was jealous of BAVR's sexy eyes. Modern readers note that BAVR becomes progressively crazier with every bad book she reads. She reads a lot of bad books, sometimes not even on purpose. Her stress release comes from snark, and she uses it like a bad-ass. 

 

Little known fact: BAVR was in the Bible.

 

 

Seriously ...

 

Although I usually read romance, I'm up for just about anything these days. I despise poor grammar in a published book and believe that a good editor/proofreader is a writer's best friend. If you like books, fun, and snark, feel free to follow me. 

Currently reading

Twilight
Stephenie Meyer
Progress: 44/325 pages
Winnie the Pooh
A.A. Milne, Ernest H. Shepard
Let the Night Begin
Kathryn Smith
Countess of Scandal (The Daughters of Erin)
Laurel McKee