Status Update: This is Why Bella Has No Friends

Twilight  - Stephenie Meyer

When the bell rang, a nasal buzzing sound, a gangly boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil slick leaned across the table to talk to me.


In Bella's mind, even the class bells are annoying bitches. But let's continue breaking down her "friendly" interaction with Eric (AKA - not sexy Edward and therefore NOT WORTHY)...


"So, this is a lot different than Phoenix, huh?" he asked.


"Wow, what must that be like?" he wondered.

"Sunny," I told him.

"You don't look very tan."

"My mother is part albino."

He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn't mix. A few months of this and I'd forget how to use sarcasm.


Watching Bella complain about another person's lack of humor is like watching a dingo beat another dingo to death for being a dingo.


Holy shit! Look how adorbs dingos are!