BAVR Eats the Books

To all my friends who love trashy historical drama that's really light on the history part:

Yes, I know this has nothing to do with books, but you're my people. Let me tell you about the new crappy TV show I'm watching. 

The CW decided to make a show about Mary, Queen of Scots. That is not a typo. The network that brings us The Vampire Diaries is also making a show about a famous historical figure. 

It's called Reign. And it's exactly what you think a CW soap aimed at 18-25 year old women would be. That doesn't mean I can't love it for all the wrong reasons. >:D

First, I watched it for the lulz and maybe to see if they got some of the history right. But let's not talk about the history because there is none in Reign. The lulz are there, though. Oh, tons of lulz. Mary and her friends dress like they're going to a debutante ball in the year 2015, NOSTRADAMUS is present at court, and Catherine de Medici is played by fucking ANNE SHIRLEY. 

I would never lie to you, friends. Here she is with Emo Nostradamus.

They're clearly Kindred Spirits.

So there's Evil Anne Shirley, who is fucking awesome and a Nostradamus who - swear to god - I can't understand a word he's saying. In addition, King Henry is a spectacular man-whore and really bad dad. The adult characters are fun and above the drivel and bad-acting of the characters who match up in age with the target audience.

There's some creepy ghost girl/hunchback/Rochester's wife lurking about the castle, and my fondest dream is that she'll kill Mary's ladies-in-waiting so we won't have to bother with them anymore. Mary can stay, but only because Karla and I have taken on a new ship. You see, the only young character who comes out of Reign unscathed is the best, the ultimate: BASH. 

This is BASH on a desk.

BASH (so awesome his name requires all caps) - known to haters as Sebastian - is the king's bastard son and a billion times more interesting than the other kids. Probably because he doesn't get enough screen-time. Whatever. I'm sold. BASH is my new fangirl obsession just for rising above inferior material. They seem to be building a love triangle between Mary, Francis, and Bash. Let's gain some support for BASH. I don't give a shit about history; Reign obviously doesn't. >:D

So if you're looking for some mindless trash and pretty young faces, you can watch the first 3 episodes here and the rest on Thursday nights @ 9 on The CW. While the show started off slow, I think it might embrace its trashy, BASH-centric destiny very soon. 

You may return to your book reading now. But you need to watch this crazy piece of television and ship BASH before it gets canceled. The clock is ticking on Reign. Let's make its short life worth it. If you aren't convinced, I'll close with a gif of Wet BASH.

This ship is worthy.

Happy weekend! 

ETA: I forgot to mention that BASH probably isn't even a real person. Like, I think The CW completely made him up. Thanks, CW!